Author: alka sharma

As they say – parents serve as the gods’ earthly agents. Parenting means “Sacrifice”—preferences, free time, and other things. And while most parents make these sacrifices cheerfully daily, they still do not get the recognition or satisfaction of being a successful or content parent.

Therefore in between all the anxiety parents face while raising kids, they might end up doing something which can impact the bond they share with their children.

Following are five major mistakes parents make with teens, let us see how you can avoid them.

1. Stop Being Friends With Your Child: Parenting adolescents in today’s society can be difficult. Evidently, in addition to the typical worries parents have about their children, the ongoing changes in technology present a variety of issues parents may have to deal with.

Many parents think they need to act more like friends to win their kids’ confidence and approval. It’s not a good idea to approach them that way when trying to connect during some of their most crucial years. Parents should place restrictions, enforce standards, and mentor their children in making wise and safe decisions.

2. Maintaining Discipline Too Much: From the moment of birth, maintaining discipline and enforcing rules is essential with teenagers, who typically push those limits to the maximum.

It’s not the best way to raise them, though, to have too much influence over their behavior as a parent. You must occasionally let your teenagers make mistakes. It makes them responsible human beings when they own their mistakes. Additionally, it helps them to take charge of their life in the future.

3. Participating in every decision they make: There may be times when you don’t like the haircut or clothing choices that your daughter or boy makes. Many parents don’t want their children to experience anguish, disappointment, or failure as they grow up.

So they shield their child and rob them of important learning chances before they are left alone rather than facing the truth. You still focus on their welfare, particularly in terms of how they dress and how long they spend outside. Once in a while let them face a challenge and demonstrate to your child your confidence in them.

4. Too much pampering: We all want the best for our children. Every parent strives to raise their children by providing them with all the things they want. Sometimes parents who are obsessed even choose to ignore it when the child engages in harmful activities rather than keeping a watch on it.

To avoid conflicts, we choose to ignore inappropriate behavior and stop thinking that our adolescent is truly acting inappropriately. As parents, it is our responsibility to step in when required and keep an eye out for potentially harmful and inappropriate conduct.

5. Excessive Pressure on Them: We simply place too much pressure on our children as parents. Stop putting pressure on them, whether it’s about how they behave, what they have to do in school, or what they do outside of school. Because you know your child better than anyone else, you should start trusting them. Give them time and space to consider and choose between right and wrong. Set realistic goals and allow them to make mistakes and gain knowledge.

By finding the right balance, you can manage to handle your child with grace and ease. Stay away from these slip-ups and assemble a solid lifelong relationship with your kid.

Every child should get a chance to groom leadership qualities. It is crucial, as it allows children to take responsibility for their decisions. Every child has the potential to become a good leader, all he needs is grooming and nurturing of qualities.

There is N number of ways to do this. It starts by teaching kids household chores and the importance of becoming independent from a very early stage of life. In school teachers should encourage students to take responsibility for small tasks to instill confidence.

Now, as a mentor, if I have to pick one such activity to help my students learn leadership, it would be organizing activities and camps.

Leadership can not be learned in the classroom. Children should experience field knowledge and apply their classroom learning to learn leadership.

Let us have a sneak peek at things we do in our outdoor activities. The initiative is known as “ Know Thyself” meaning Understanding Yourself. It is only when children apply their classroom learning in real life they can experience the real meaning of life.

The process starts by choosing 8-10 students who are already representing their class in different areas. It is because they already have an idea of what leadership is.

After that comes the most important thing – The planning session, every minute detail is discussed in our planning session. We plan to impart all the information regarding the execution of our camp beforehand. We do this so that our students take responsibility on the execution day with confidence.

Then comes the execution day. As we reach the destination, we divide the children into different groups. In this, we also choose one group leader and one teacher as a group in charge.

Next in line is deciding the Intention, Goal, and Vision for the activity.

• Intention – To learn the skills required to become a good leader
• Goal – To apply those skills in real-life experience
• Vision – To learn how to lead a good life in all aspects.

After deciding the goals, our students take a step ahead to prepare and distribute meals with the team. The role and responsibilities of each group have been pre-decided in advance to avoid any confusion. It also ensures accountability for not doing the work.

During the entire process, we all follow the motto of “ No blame, Nocomplaints. It enriches the team environment and guides the students toward the achievement of the same goal.

Lastly, we believe that Developing leadership skills in children at a young age can help them deal with peer pressure as they approach adolescence.

Although being a leader is not a specific topic of study, it is important to provide kids with the leadership skills they need so they are prepared to guide the way and develop into responsible adults for the next generation.

Holi is the most exciting time of the year in India. The vibe is full of positivity as markets get flooded with vibrant colors. It also embarks the start of the beautiful spring. The excitement is even more as there is finally ease in the restrictions in the post-pandemic era.

However, celebrating Holi is not just limited to colors and balloons. There is a lot more significance to this festival. It helps kids gain self-confidence, learn about the vibrant culture of India and, learn soft skills like empathy and understanding for others.

So if you are looking forward to making the most of this year’s Holi celebration, here are some unique ways to celebrate Holi with your kids. 

Holi Powder – It is not just about using organic colors, of course, that is undebatable but teaching your kids the importance of consent. You can tell your kids to be careful while playing with colors. Always be gentle and ask for permission to apply colors. Even if they are using organic colors, teach them not to target anyone’s face in the spirit of fun.

You can also teach your little ones to differentiate between colors and their meaning. As each color hold a different meaning;

Red: Passion, Love, Anger.

Orange: Energy, Happiness, Vitality.

Yellow: Happiness, Hope, Deceit.

Green: New Beginnings, Abundance, Nature.

Blue: Calm, Responsible, Sadness.

Purple: Creativity, Royalty, Wealth.

Black: Mystery, Elegance, Evil.

Gray: Moody, Conservative, Formality

Storytelling – We all know the tale of celebrating Holi in India. But there are also a lot of other folk tales in different regions of Indian and even in Nepal to mark the celebration of winning Good over Evil. You can buy story books on Holi to read with your kids. Start a week before Holi and discuss those stories with them. This way kids will learn the art of storytelling and gain knowledge from the morals of the stories.

Prepare DIY ( Do it yourself ) –  Prepare crafts and games to enjoy with your kids. You can even plan a painting activity with them. It will encourage them to learn something new while enjoying the holidays.

Have a cooking session with your kids – Kids love to explore new things. It is a great way to teach them how important it is to value food. When they help you with household chores, they learn humility and respect for you. You can prepare their favorite snacks and ask them to present the dish in their style. It is one of the best ways to teach kids creativity.

You can also plant seeds with your kids as it is the start of the spring season. The whole year your kids can learn to take care of the sapling as it will be a memory for them to cherish for their entire life. Rituals like these make festivals special for kids. It reminds them of the importance of spending time with family.

Why parents are called the first teacher of their kids?

Because whatever kids learn in the initial years of life, becomes the foundation of their learning phase throughout life.

Among all the responsibilities parents have towards kids, Mentoring is the most important one. It decides what kind of value system kids will choose, according to what they learn from their parents.

Talking about learning, fundamentally there are two aspects of learning: Literacy and Education.

The first aspect focuses on imparting worldly knowledge while the second focuses on learning holistically about LIFE.

In the words of Bred Hnery

“Education is not solely about earning a great living. It means living a great life.”

As an academician, I interact with parents daily. And one thing I found is that most parents think that teaching means imparting worldly knowledge.

But is that so? Imagine what value it is going to have if your child has vast worldly knowledge but lacks behavioral understanding. To understand the real concept of teaching, here are important tips to keep in mind.

Communication – How you talk and respond has a direct impact on how your kids perceive communication. You can not teach them to be patient and soft-spoken if you are behaving oppositely. Actions speak louder than words. Remember, if you want to teach them the importance of communication, preach it first.

There are two things you need to keep in mind.

1. How you talk to them – Listen to them first and then respond. Listening with patience is an important skill one should learn while dealing with kids. Do not try to force any kind of behavior on them. Let them express what they feel. Listen to their side of the story first before reaching any conclusion.

2. How you talk about others- It is equally important to speak of others respectfully in front of your kids. Kids pay attention to everything parents do. More than words, actions influence them. So the second thing you need to consider is to talk with utmost care in front of your kids.

Involvement – Parents think that once their kids start going to school, their role as teachers declines. But that is not the case. Parents are real teachers for their kids who stand with them in every situation of life. And to increase the impact of teaching, parents must involve themselves in the activities that they plan for their kids.

So if you enroll your child in a drawing class, pottery lessons, music, or dance, try to be present with them in every small and big win they experience. It makes learning substantial.

Another thing to consider is preaching everything you are teaching them.

For example – If you want them to become caring by nature, show them how you care for your friends and family. Create a loving environment in your family.

Do not mock them or taunt them in front of friends and family. Even if your child is not behaving, do not pinpoint their mistakes immediately. If you allow them to understand their mistakes, it will become easier for them to accept and work on them.

In a Nutshell, Parents play a crucial role in a child’s life. Be it the role of teacher, mentor, friend, or guide, a parent needs to ace every role if they want their kids to explore various opportunities in life. It can only happen when parents participate with their kids to encourage them. It will not only prove beneficial for their personality development but also prepare them to face various challenges in life.

As an academic, one of the most common inquiries from parents is, “How to improve a child’s performance in exams.” And it’s so obvious. Parents need to put in more effort to encourage their children to reach their full potential in today’s competitive world.

The “Result” is one of the things that parents worry about the most. Why? Because it depicts a child’s overall development. Parents feel a sense of accomplishment whenever they see their children rise through the class ranks.

However, with expectation comes the obligation for parents to provide for their children. There are numerous ways to assist your children with exam preparation.

Teaching them at the last minute can be frustrating if you don’t plan. So, let’s talk about the best advice for teaching your kids to do better in school and putting it into action.

Attention for Retention – Parents must induce positivity in their kids before they start preparing for their exams. The first that can help you to do this is by preparing yourself. It means having patience when kids are not listening to you.

When we talk about kids of 3-10 years, we know their distraction will always overpower their concentration. At that point, you should not force them to focus without giving them time to adjust.

To handle this situation, you can prepare a schedule for their study time. Discuss with them at what time they are most comfortable studying. Set an alarm clock to remind them about their commitment. During the process, if they need a break, give them a break for a few minutes. Do learning exercises to see how much they have learned in one session. Make the learning process fun and do not force anything on them.

One thing to keep in mind is not to get irritated. At the end of the day, how you handle the situation is going to decide, your child’s attitude toward studying. If you make it forceful, they will perceive learning as a forceful process and if you make it fun, they will perceive it as a fun process.

Absorption – kids have a knack for learning things in different ways. So the next thing to keep in mind is preparing lessons for them in advance. For kids studying in Nursery to Primary classes, it is important to make learning a fun process as their attention span is very short. Try visualization, storytelling, Presentation, and Animated videos for their preparation. It increases their involvement and also increases their retention. Further, it is a great way to include creativity in their personality.

Conversation –  This is an extension of the point we discussed above. It simply means to be a parent first and a teacher later. Kids learn from teachers in school according to the pedagogy of the school. At home, they expect extra freedom to ask questions and clear their doubts. The solution to this is simple. Talk, Talk, and talk. Talk about their fears, insecurities, and doubts, and listen to them. Do not try to provide a solution immediately. Take them out on a walk, exam time is already very stressful for children. Do not worsen their fears. Try to ease the situation for them. Once this fear is out of their system, they can pass the examination with flying colors.

Lastly, you need to know that your expectations should not become a burden for your child. Do not criticize them if they are not performing according to your expectation. Try to analyze the areas where your child is lagging and work with them to improve their performance. Because it is not about success in one exam but being successful in all areas of life.

Birthdays hold a special place in our lives. We all get excited about our birthdays. And for kids, it is always extra special. Their happy faces are a treat to watch on their birthdays.

The first few birthdays are full of grand celebrations. Kids get very excited days before birthday and parents do the best of their capacity to make it extra special for their children. But as they grow up the excitement starts declining. And the main reason is a decline in your involvement in their birthday celebration as they grow up.

So to keep your kid’s spirit alive, what you can do is follow these steps to make every birthday  an unforgettable happy experience for your child.

The idea behind celebrating a birthday is to celebrate the person. Irrespective of how they are doing in their life. And that is probably a reason why kids are euphoric when it comes to their birthday, they know they will get a lot of love and attention for just being themselves.

And our first step includes the idea of doing the same -To make your child the center of attention on his birthday.

Start their day setting good intentions for their upcoming year. And what better than taking the blessings of GOD! Make it a ritual for them to celebrate every birthday morning with a prayer. Reflect on the past year and visualize good things to happen for the coming year. If you set up this ritual for the first few birthdays they will follow it for their entire life.

You can also dress them according to your tradition to keep them grounded. With this particular ritual, they will feel connected to their roots.

After the prayer, all the family members can gather and make a circle. Keep a chair in between and let your child sit in the center. Now give them gifts and blessings by singing songs and cheering for them. It makes them feel very important and loved. 

We all know the importance of giving. Serving the needy people gives everyone satisfaction and inner peace. So you can plan a visit to distribute gifts to unprivileged children on your child’s birthday. This way they can also learn the importance of sharing and caring. They will develop a sense of gratitude for what they have by watching others who are in need.

And when it is the time for celebration, make it all about them. For kids, it is the most exciting part of a birthday. Make them feel special by including their favorite games and activities as it is their party. Include small messages from family and friends and tell them in front of everybody at the party. It makes them feel confident and encourages them to do better in life.

Whatever you decide to do, one thing to remember is that it is about your efforts. Be it a small party or a big celebration, make it special by adding your love and attention to it. And do not forget to capture all the memories as they will cherish these moments for their entire life.

Celebrating small milestones for your kids is the best feeling in the world. From weaning to start teaching them as soon as they turn 1, parents do it all for the holistic development of their kids. Sometimes it builds pressure on them to find activities that are a balance of fun and educational foundation for their little ones.

Every parent should understand that they do not have to stress about teaching their kids from the beginning. The focus should be on building a foundation for finding joy in learning. And it starts with creating curiosity by adding the element of fun to their daily learning sessions.

Let us see, How you can start teaching your kids with these easy tips

Developing customized fun games for them – We all know that our little ones are so small that it is difficult for them to concentrate or even hold a pencil for a very long time. But at the same time, their brain has a lot of capacity to absorb and retain information.

So the best thing to do is to plan 1-minute games for them. You can start by giving them the props like Alphabetical, Numerical, Fruit shapes, or Even toys that they find attractive. This way kids will start building focus on one thing rather than running behind everything in the house.

When they start focusing, you can use props like a small organizer to teach them organizing skills. When you sit and show them how it is done, they will remember the process and imitate you later. Now the thing is not just teaching them difficult skills like organizing, but building their sitting power and focus towards learning in general.

Making customized toys with them – Take cardboard and make small holes in it. Now teach your kids to thread the strings through these holes. It might sound boring but when it becomes interesting for them to complete the task in a minute. Also, they get the feeling of accomplishment which boosts their confidence in the long run.

Finding letters and numbers in the surroundings – Even if your little ones can not properly read or write, you can teach them numbers and the alphabet very easily. Try to inculcate numbers in games and tell them to repeat the number of times they are repeating the exercise. These small games play a huge role in the development of their motor skills.

Now that we have already discussed some tips to engage kids in learning sessions, let us see what the things you need to keep in mind are to make these sessions more effective. One thing is to make a schedule for a particular learning topic for a week. They should not feel overwhelmed by the information. Give them time to learn and enjoy at their pace.

Another thing to keep in mind is not to scold them when they are not able to grasp things immediately. They will make mistakes and you have to be patient with them so that they can feel free to ask any question that comes to their mind.

 Lastly, let them learn their way, and encourage them if their interest lies in some other topic than the one you have chosen for them. Make learning an easy process for them so that they can develop a love for it for their entire life.

We all agree that Kids these days have the busiest schedule. From school hours to extra classes and extracurriculars, they hop from one place to another before finally hitting the bed.

Now, this is exciting and worrisome for parents at the same time. And one thing that parents worry the most is about how they can get some extra time to revise and learn at home.

Apart from the time crunch, factors like stress, lack of energy, lack of interest, and distractions are some reasons that might become a hindrance for kids to develop productive studying habits.

As parents, it is heartbreaking to see your kids struggle to find and manage time to study. But do not worry, if you follow these tips they will definitely thrive in their learning sessions.

Fix a routine – A good beginning is half done. If you build a holistic routine for them, they will be mentally prepared to study as they do during school time. A good routine helps to build momentum for the day.

One thing to remember is that they should get some break time in between all the activities you are planning for them. Fix a study time for them and when the clock ticks the time, remind them of their commitment. It also inculcates discipline in them. Do not give in to their demands, if they are not ready to study. The trick is to convince them by having a conversation with them. Telling them the importance of learning in life. You can also plan a reading time for yourself, that way they will not be able to escape instead they will learn sincerely.

Take care of their holistic development – Knowledge will give them the push in life but if they are not healthy it will definitely hold them back in life. Kids must have a balanced diet and good sleep to retain what they are learning. After all, everything is connected. With this, give them time to stretch and relax so that they can concentrate more when they are actually studying.

Do check on their meal timings and make sure they are not hungry. Our brain needs fuel to focus and if our tummy is full we will definitely be able to focus more on learning.

Build a study environment – The place matters a lot. If you fix a place with little or no distractions it will help them to focus and retain things easily. You can also decorate the place with good quotes and a comfortable, chair- table set to help them have much-needed comfort. These are the little things that can become a distraction at the study place and if you take care of them develop a lifelong love for learning.

Add some reading time – It is not just about learning, but reading too. Reading is a very important part of education. Developing a reading habit comes hand in hand while developing a studying habit in children.

To develop a reading habit, you can start with easy sentences. Give them books a grade below or two as compared to what they are actually studying. It helps them build a flow for reading. Also, build a collection of important words to develop a versatile vocabulary for them. If kids have a vast vocabulary, they can easily make sentences. It also gives them the confidence to present their ideas and read gracefully. You can add 15 minutes of reading time to their studying time.

The final piece of advice is that you should not obsess over teaching your kids. It does not happen overnight. Even if you are taking care of everything, it takes at least 6 months to develop productive habits in kids. They will make mistakes and learn, all you have to do is support them with patience. Your hard work will pay off as their love for learning throughout their life.

Seeing your child happy is one of the best feelings in the world. Yet,it has become a rare case in most homes. Even if parents do their best to keep their kids happy, the results are not very satisfactory.

The first reason behind this is Parents being reactive. The kind of behavior parents reflects when they face any adversity. They immediately want to take action when a child complains and whines about any problem. Be it a small fight in school or at playtime, most parents encourage their kids to take it one step ahead by involving themselves in the same. But they do not realize that kids will follow the same thing when there will be an argument at home.

So what should be the middle way for parents?

Almost every day is a whining session for kids right after they come back from school. And as parents, our first reaction is to settle the situation, not their attitude. After all, which parent does not want to be a HERO for their child? But have you ever wondered what kind of HERO you are becoming? The one who knows nothing but screams when a negative situation arises or the one who sets an example for them to adopt a positive outlook towards problems in life.

A wise parent will always choose the latter and these tips will help you to establish a strong foundation for your kids when it comes to adopting healthy habits.

Acknowledge their emotions- Parents need to help their kids define and express them. Strong emotions like anger, frustration, and aggression should be handled carefully. If you do not pay attention in the present, it might become a part of their personality in the future.

And acknowledging emotions helps them to identify the problem in the first place. Sometimes they do not even need a solution, but listening to them would make them feel better and induce a calming effect in their personality.

Have conservation with them – Instead of reacting, try to show proactiveness. When a child is facing any problem at home, in school, or even with friends, do not try to conclude immediately.

 Most parents, get away if they see their child is sad or crying. But the thing here is to show them the way you would choose if you face a similar situation. Imagine if you argue in a workplace, would you scream or would you prefer to talk it out? Talking makes everything easy. It helps you to find the root cause of the problem.

Finding the solution – Be it kids or adults nobody wants to listen when they are angry and in offensive mode. The reason being it makes them feel that they are wrong and it worsens the situation. But if you talk about the same thing after a day or two when kids are in receptive mode, they will listen to you.

When kids are aware that they are being heard they also listen to you carefully. They become proactive and the synergy of positive thoughts helps them in shaping their personality.

The final tip of advice is to remind ourselves what kind of behaviour we want them to adopt. Is it the kind of behavoiur where they feel like screaming whenever any negative situation arises or the one where they can come to us and talk to us to find a solution to any problem. Help them focus and on the good things so that they can find good things in life easily.

Raising kids is an arduous task. From finding ways to deal with their childish behavior to maintaining a balance between family routine and their course. We as parents face a hard time disciplining kids.

 It can be challenging to keep your cool when interacting with a teenager who does not even want to listen to you. And then shouting and physical aggression becomes the lender of the last resort for us. But let me make it clear that it never helps and even makes you face situations that no parent ever wants to find themselves in.

Fortunately, there are other, better approaches, and positive discipline is one of them. We spoke to several parents to learn more about how the approach can assist parents in fostering positive relationships with their kids and instilling values like responsibility, cooperation, and self-discipline.

Let us see what possible solutions came out as the result.

Going back to square one- Simply means putting ourselves in their shoes. Let us take an example. Remember the times when we were to learn skills like driving?

We all wanted to do that, Right? But with one condition that was common for all of us that we were not ready to learn that from our parents. Reason being we were afraid of getting scolded while making mistakes. But at the same time when a teacher taught us the same skill, it was easier for us to try and learn. Now you all must be wondering how it is related to teaching kids discipline.

The rule is simple: be their teacher. Encourage them when they take initiative. And most important of all, respect them. Yes, respectably talking to them makes the whole difference.

After all, they know you love them and that your intentions are genuine. They all expect to learn from our life-long experiences. But the only thing they can not take is the way if we choose to be harsh on them.

So the best way out is to take a step back and realize that shouting is not going to help. See how they react when you correct their behavior with love and not by scolding them.

Nobody is born perfect and when we encourage kids to make mistakes and learn from them they develop a positive attitude toward learning in life.

Explain the reason behind everything- We all love the shortcut, especially when it comes to our kids. If they want a toy – we give them a toy, if they want to use the phone – we let them use it for hours just so that they do not disturb us in our work.

But have you ever wondered what if you say no, are they going to understand your language? Probably NO, they will try every possible way to convince you. But if you explain to them the reason behind it they will listen to you. Remember it will not happen overnight. You will have to be patient with them. If you create a harmonious bond with your kid, he/she will reciprocate the same behavior.

It is not just about teaching them discipline, of course, it is one of the most important values but at the end of the day, you have to be their mentor for everything in life. And it means nurturing and nourishing your bond with them at every step of their life. While talking to them, reflect on their reaction immediately. See if they are liking the way you are talking to them or not.

If they like it they will be very happy and cheerful to learn more things from you. So if you are looking forward to inculcating discipline in your kids, remember you have to be their ideal first.