Author: alka sharma

We barely notice the passing of the days as we juggle between life and work. Many parents are concerned about not spending enough time with their kids and wonder if this may cause developmental problems. Some parents even feel guilty for choosing to work a full-time job or worry about going to the gym or out to dinner with friends.

A recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family casts doubt on the relationship between mothers’ time spent with their kids and their success in school, behavior, and emotional health. This is not meant to downplay the value of spending time with kids, but rather to emphasize how much more significant quality time is than quantity.

What is most advantageous to children and what can have a favorable impact on them as they grow is quality time spent with parents.

Here are some tips for you to get the best of the time in terms of quality to that you can spend days with your kids.

1. Playing Games Together: Every child loves to play games and what could be better than turning playtime into quality time with family? There is a variety of board games available in the market nowadays that are a fun way to spend a fun time with the entire family. Simple games like Ludo or snake and ladders can turn out to be one of the most fun-filled experiences for the entire family.

2. Life in Public Places: There are many instances where parents are out in the world with their kids in day-to-day life. It might be waiting for a taxi to go somewhere or waiting for the school bus in the morning. While the kids learn how the world works, it is always a plus if the parent holds their hand to show them around. Hand holding, while looks like a very simple exercise that nobody gives much thought to, can be a powerful way to ensure that such little time can be of high quality. Physical touch for a kid holds special value in their life and a warm hand to hold can turn any time into quality time.

3. Tips for Working Parents: After getting home from work, a smile can make all the difference in the world for a little kid. Being friendly and respectful towards kids and swinging genuine curiosity in their day-to-day activities can imbibe a sense of relativity in the kids as well. Stories from your childhood and including them in the calls with your childhood friends can turn out to be one of the most high-quality times that can be spent with your children.

Remember you don’t have to participate in the rat race of being perfect parents. But you can personalize your way of being. No child can forget the feeling of being close to their parents. Not just living under the same roof but sharing day-to-day anecdotes and big achievements to connect your hearts and lives as well.

No matter how much we love winters, we can’t deny the fact that it also brings unwanted and itchy skin problems with them.

We all agree that kids have a skin texture as soft as silk. And as winter has started approaching, the first thing parents should take care of is moisturization. It might sound like a very tiny piece of advice but it is a golden one. Kids might not understand why it is important to take care of their skin and whole body and that’s why the parents’ role comes into play.

Let’s see how one can use these easy steps to involve a self-care routine in everyday life.

1. We all have faced a situation in childhood where our mothers were behind us to apply coconut oil and glycerol in winter to keep our skin moisturized. But with time we don’t seem to use it as we think it is outdated. But let me tell you this toxin-free substance has a lot of benefits than just being a moisturizer. It hydrates the skin for the whole day and even relieves extremely dry skin problems.

2. Have you ever thought about why our skin becomes dry even after applying different kinds of moisturizer? Because our skin absorbs the product. Imagine applying products without knowing how it is made and what it consists of.

So the second thing is to be very careful about what you choose for your kids in terms of their skincare.

The very best advice is to apply easily available things in our kitchen. Turmeric and Gram flour are the best alternatives for fancy soaps and body wash. You can even apply it to wash your hair and face.

3. Next is to make organic hair oils at your home. You can use ingredients such as crushed china rose, amla, and seeds and mix them with almond oil, and leave the mixture overnight. You use it for head massages. You can also apply egg whites for 10-15 minutes before washing to get that amazing shiny hair.

We all know healthy hair is a sign of a healthy heart and a healthy body.

Another great deal is to have a domestic oil expeller in the house. You can grind sesame, mustard and even almonds to extract oil. It has so many health benefits in the long run as it is homemade.

People nowadays think that it is very difficult to maintain a healthy lifestyle as it is time-consuming. But if you plan things out it becomes a part of your lifestyle. In the end, what matters is our Good health and just good health.

It is not said in vain that a father is the one friend whom a child can always rely on. A mother’s role is often recognized as a vital role in a children’s life. But we all know what kind of impact fathers’ participation can have on a child. The positive involvement of both parents in a child’s life can shape his entire personality.

Raising a child is not an easy task, especially in nuclear families. And if we talk about being a father, there are some things that you can certainly inculcate in your role to build a strong relationship with your child.

1. So the first thing first is to build a foundation of friendship with your child. For this, you can take your child to a public place once or twice a week. This helps to start a conversation about the things in life that are otherwise ignored by parents. What happens is that your kid will start asking you questions about life. You can give them wisdom from your experience. It is very important to let them know your role as a mentor in their life. So that whenever they want help, they do not hesitate to ask for it.
2. Nature is the best teacher. It teaches us values like giving and grounding. So when you take your kids for a walk or hike in nature, they organically adopt similar values. You must have seen that kids who enjoy time in nature are more open to learning the values of life than kids who stay at home all the time. It gives a sense of freedom and a winner’s attitude when they finish a hike or a quick run around the ground.
3. Third and the most important thing is to teach them the importance of respecting others. This starts with setting an example for them. If you talk to your spouse with love and respect, your job is half done there. You can teach when you preach. So if you want your child to respect the opposite gender and people in general, note that it starts from your home.

These are the points that are often ignored by parents, but ultimately these are the only things that will help you to build a strong foundation for a parent-child relationship.

Mentoring your kid is not a rule of thumb but a personal approach as every child is unique in his way. So, the secret is to become a friend, a mentor, and a parent to pave the way for a successful parenting.

Not just adults but even kids have started referring to words like stress and depression to describe their negative thoughts and feelings.

We all know as the exam season starts, kids start showing symptoms of stress like mood swings and developing eating disorders. And at that time it becomes very easy for ANXIETY to build a home inside a child’s mind. Even if parents are aware of it, it becomes difficult to manage their emotions and encourage them to perform with confidence.

But what exactly is anxiety?

According to health experts,  anxiety is a constant feeling of worrying about everyday situations in life. It presents itself through the symptoms like sweaty palms, palpitations, frustration, extreme mood swings and sometimes even dizziness.

As parents, we all face situations like these, when kids get nervous before exams or even stage performances. Here are some tips that can help you to protect kids from getting affected by anxious thoughts and feelings.

1.  Anxiety peeps in with a pattern of thoughts. When kids try to multitask in exams by reading everything at once, they feel like they do not remember anything at all. And on top of that, the expectations of parents make it even more pressurizing for them. Exam thoughts collide with performance and expectation thoughts and they start feeling nervous.

At this time the best thing you can do as a parent is to have a friendly conversation with them. Sit with them and pat their back for the efforts they are putting in, as soon as they start getting distracted from the performance pressure they will start building confidence and will be able to think clearly.

You can even treat them in between their preparation time with dark chocolates and chocolate milk as a reward for their efforts. Remember not only the result but their efforts matter as well.

With that, giving them a healthy and nutritious diet helps them to stay focused. Also, make sure they are getting an adequate amount of quality sleep to feel fresh every day. Exams should not become a burden on them.

2. A famous technique to deal with stress and anxiety is the – 5,4,3,2,1 Technique.

In this, whenever your child is having episodes of stress and anxiety,

You have to make them to

1. See 5 things – Ask them to focus on their surroundings and name 5 things that are in their sight. It breaks the chain of thoughts and helps them to see the present moment as it is.

2. Touch 4 things- Tell them to touch and feel 4 things around them, it helps them realize that they are completely fine and can feel the things around them. It helps them to relax and ground themselves in times of anxiety.

3. Listen to 3 things- Listening is a very powerful sense of feeling. When kids are unable to focus on anything, listening to the sounds around them and analyzing where it is coming from helps them to focus on the environment around them.

4. Smell 2 things- When they finish listening and analyzing the sound, give them something that has a strong aroma to bring them back into the present moment.

5. Taste 1 thing- Lastly give them tangy-flavoured candies and dark chocolate. Such flavours induce a very strong taste sensation and help them to distract from anxious thoughts.

The above-mentioned technique can help them overcome an episode of anxiety but what helps them manage and become more self-aware is the support from parents. Children need emotional protection, especially now when our lives have become so fast that we hardly pause to see how our kids are doing apart from academic life and extracurriculars.

But if you take one day at a time, and help them understand one emotion at a time they are going to develop a very strong personality while growing up.

Values are the lighthouses; they are signals giving us direction, meaning and purpose. In this fast-changing world, where even trends last for a few days or sometimes months, it is hard to teach the importance of value to kids that they should remember for a lifetime.

But once you plant the seed it is easier to nourish it by taking it one day at a time. The same is the case with parenting, once you build a bond with your child, you can easily teach them certain important life skills. And value is the most important of all.

A lot is being said about value, let’s see how you can go about it.

1. First and foremost is beginning by developing a culture of THANKSGIVING. You do not have to make a lot of effort for it, just decide a day in a week when all the family members are thankful to each other for everything they do for each other. This way kids learn that kindness is a very important part of human nature. They also learn to be grateful for all the materialistic things that their parents provide them and the love and care they get as a child. Once they know the value of gratitude they will never take anything in life for granted.

2. Who doesn’t like a happy smile while greeting someone new? But even adults seem to not remember this basic Sanskaar of greeting people with a smile. Parents will agree that this is the most difficult part of parenting, teaching kids to be nice and cheerful while greeting others.

So let’s see what’s the catch here, it is nothing but starting the conversation, not just talking and telling them what to do and how to be but talking to them and having real-life conversations. Where they can talk about their feelings and experiences. They become better listeners when they understand the value of talking to other people.

3.  Children follow what they see and how you treat others matters a lot when it comes to their upbringing. They see others through the eyes of their parents. And if you are not setting the right example they might follow the same route. Always be careful about how you talk to other people because they might follow the same route. You have to preach the same behaviour you want to teach your kids.

Parenting is not an easy task and building a strong foundation for your kids is even more difficult. But remember “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents”.

When a child is born it gives a new direction to the parent’s life as well. It is an exciting phase in every parent’s life. So it is obvious for them to provide the best of everything to their kids.

But the question is how to draft a perfect parenting guide. The answer is not following the rat race.

Drafting parenting goals isn’t the rule of thumb but rather an art of developing a balance of emotional, spiritual, and social values in kids.

In today’s world, raising a kid with emotional maturity isn’t an easy task, but some ways can help you to develop a state of emotional stability in your child.

Right from the infancy stage parents need to teach kids the importance of accepting mistakes. When they own up to their own mistakes, they learn how to correct them very easily. Parents should teach their kids to feel and express emotions like guilt, anger, frustration, and even sadness. It helps them to understand the nuances of life while growing up. This way they also learn that ups and downs are a part of life and they can manage every emotion that they are feeling.

Parents can share real-life stories and anecdotes with their kids to teach them moral values.

Spiritualism is a way of life and there is a difference between being spiritual and being religious. Inculcating the habit of gratitude and prayer builds a very strong foundation for developing spiritual values in an individual’s life. Not just as a kid but even when they reach old age, these values become a part of their personality.

Helping others is the best way to teach children the difference between happiness and pleasure. Feeding animals and sharing their toys with other needy kids helps them to realize the value of sharing and caring.

When a kid finally starts interacting with people other than family and friends, they develop a kind of social understanding in their nature. This is a very crucial time for parents to keep a close eye on the development of their social skills.

Small things like how they greet elders and interact with their peers make a great difference in how they are going to be as grown-ups. It all starts with teaching them the art of communication. It is easier for kids to adopt maturity when they communicate instead of complaining. Taking care of family members and friends when they are not doing well teaches them the value of nurturing.

Parents should understand that there is no sure-shot way to a perfect parenting style. But if they know when to become a mentor and when to become a friend for their child, they can easily have their way to see their child grooming into a beautiful human being and not just a stubborn kid.

Kids have an infinite amount of energy and sometimes it becomes difficult for parents to manage it. With the pandemic forcing kids to stay at home and adjust to the new normal somehow kids got a lot of time to spend at home. Well, it was supposed to be a blessing in disguise for the parents who are working from home. But at the end of the day, it became a task for them to keep kids busy at home.

As parents we all hear this sentence a lot, “Mumma, I am getting bored” and as a result of our unconditional love, we all find ourselves giving in to their unreasonable demands. Be it watching TV and phone for hours to buying them expensive toys.

So what can you do to channel their energy productively? Let us see what solutions I got from being a parent myself and what my peers have to say about this subject when it comes to parenting kids at home.

We all have heard the saying, “ Nature nurtures eternity” there is a lot we can learn from mother nature. So if we want to teach our kids something about nurturing what is better than making them one with nature?

To develop a nurturing nature, you can start by teaching them the practice of feeding animals around your home. Now you must be wondering how you can channel their energy this way. So, they develop a sense of responsibility with satisfaction when they accomplish simple tasks like this. And eventually, this becomes a part of their routine. When they spend more time in nature doing acts of service, they become better human beings.

Sometimes they might become stubborn and refuse to listen, after all, kids are kids. But if you make them aware of the impact of their service, they will start taking things seriously. They might end up becoming animal lovers.

The next thing you can do is to train them in some form of physical exercise. To start from the basics, yogasana is the best practice to teach kids the power of meditation with physical movements. As they learn to do advanced level yogasans, they get a feeling of accomplishment.

Another thing that you can do is to buy them limited but interesting games. Games that they can work on like logical puzzles, scribbles, and spell games. The trick is to not confuse them by giving them everything at once. But let them concentrate on learning one game at a time. It teaches them patience and improves their concentration at the same time.

Last piece of advice

There are many healthy ways to keep the kids busy at home, but it all requires effort from your side too. As parents, you can also form a group of parents to teach kids different subjects online. Each parent from the group can teach one topic to all the kids online. It gives them time to interact and learn while using the phone. This way they also know a better way of using technology. If you teach them time management from an early stage they are only going to thank you later. After all, time is money, and who does not want to learn, how to manage it effectively?

As stated in the Ayurveda, तन्मना भोजनगतः चित्तः। Concentrating one’s mind on food while eating should be the mantra for life. Are our thoughts positive or negative? And how is our attitude toward the food on our plate? Everything impacts our psychology and digestion. Now imagine practising silence while eating to expose ourselves to the world of information while having meals, and how technology has impacted our lifestyle.

With the fast pace life and changing scenarios at home where family members are busy working it has become inevitable for parents to aid distractions while feeding their kids. Kids watching TV and mobile during meal times is a very common scenario nowadays.

It might be a victory for parents when their child eats without making a tantrum. But is it sustainable? Most parents are unaware of the long-term consequences of the same and it has become an addiction for kids as well as adults. Recent studies by BMC Public Health have also observed that Parents act as role models for their kids. And the ignorant behaviour of parents becomes a part of personality when it comes to their kids.

Let us see why watching TV and mobile while eating is a bad idea

It leads to overeating – When we are not conscious while eating, it is very much possible to not listen to our stomach whether it wants more food or not. The simple science behind this is that our stomach sends us a signal right before it is full and if we stop eating at that time, digestive juices are secreted in a very balanced manner. But since our mind is busy processing the information we are watching we tend to ignore the signal. The result is nothing else but obesity.

Unhealthy eating habits – In the long run, children become habitual to eating while watching and watching while eating. Now not only they do overeat but also tend to munch on a lot of unhealthy snacks while binge-watching.

With that, a lot of other side effects like lower metabolism and indigestion problems are observed in children who are having screen time while eating.

What is the way for Parents?

Children follow what they see. This should be the first thing that parents should keep in mind. Right from the beginning parents should try to avoid any kind of distractions while feeding kids.

It is difficult in the initial phase to keep the child engaged and focused while eating, but once it becomes a habit, it is a cakewalk for them to swear by this habit.

Parents can try to initiate engaging conversations with kids and if they are still not listening, they can even play calming music while eating. This helps them to stay calm and pay attention to the food they are eating. After all “our food should be our medicine and our medicine should be our food”

Have you ever wondered how laziness enters the system of the human brain? Well, you might think it’s just another bad habit that comes from not doing anything productive.
But how do you justify this when your kids start showing lazy behaviour?

Isn’t it contradictory, because kids are supposed to be the powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm?
The answer lies in the kind of perception they build towards actions and rewards. As they put effort into studying, playing or any extracurricular activity, they expect some kind of reward in return. And when they fail they started losing motivation in every aspect of their life.

As a parent, it can turn out to be your worst nightmare when you see your kid losing interest in life. But sticking to the silver lining is going to make all the difference for you. Let’s see how you can do it.

Following are 3 simple steps that you can follow to bring that joy back into your kid’s life.

Start by taking small steps to build a strong foundation for them – You can teach them the importance of having a correct posture. Join them while you teach them how to sit in a winning posture with broad shoulders and shine in their eyes. Performing simple yogasanas like Padmasana and Vajrasana helps them build flexibility in the long run. It builds confidence that eventually becomes a part of their personality. You can also include small games like having healthy competitions. Of course, the winner is the happiest and most cheerful member.

A road a little ahead of indoors- It is equally important to have outdoor activities planned for kids. For that, you can plan small hiking trips to nearby places. Have you ever noticed the difference between a small walk and a small hike? If not you will definitely once you start hiking especially with your kids. It helps them develop a connection with nature and among family members. A bond that is the foundation of a happy family. With that, it also develops a winning attitude in your kids. After all, drop by drop fills the entire ocean.

Creating self-awareness and independence – Teaching them the practice of affirmations like ‘ I CAN DO’ works like magic for them. You can involve them in household chores like doing dishes, cleaning and sorting out clothes. It not only makes them independent but teaches them grounding. Bedtime stories and tales with the message of independence, courage, and morality help to develop human values in your kids. Rewarding them when they complete small tasks is going to help them build a positive attitude towards life.

Remember it is not a destination but a journey to motivate your child to become a better person. When you provide unconditional support to your kid, they learn to become a team member and empathetic human beings.

Anger – The feeling of antagonism when something goes against our wish is called anger. Or in simple words the negative emotions we feel when someone deliberately does something against our wish is known as anger.

It is rightly said that “Anger does not solve anything but can destroy everything”. Especially while dealing with kids it becomes crucial to have a balanced approach towards parenting.
Nowadays it has become challenging for parents to understand the nuances of parenting when it comes to teaching children about anger management.

Family is the first learning institution for children, and when the family members do not preach harmony, they can not teach harmony either. So what should be the right approach to manage the sudden surge of any emotion in kids?
Well, the most effective way is to start an open conversation with them. Only when you will make them feel loved and respected, they are going to listen to you. Asking simple questions like What is the one thing that makes them furious and how you can help them to navigate the process of managing those emotions goes a long way.

Most of the time parents try to manage the aggression of kids by giving punishment. Sometimes even trying to tame them with physical actions. This only makes things worse in the long run. Not only do they continue to show anger and annoyance but it becomes a part of their personality as they grow older. Peace is not just a word but a powerful weapon against anger any day. Even we as adults get emotional when treated with love and respect, imagine what impact is it going to make on your children if you deal with them with patience.

A holistic approach to lead an example for your kids is to simply preach what you are trying to teach. As cliche as it may sound, it is probably the only way to inculcate happy and healthy behavioral habits in them. The approach also includes teaching a complete way of being to your kids. From healthy food habits to practicing ‘minimalism and teaching them the importance of values like sharing and caring. The most important all is to take care of your mental health. Only if you are happy you can make others happy.

For example – If your kids are fighting for a new toy even though they already have a lot of them what you can do is become their playmate to understand where it is coming from. Sometimes just making a clear point to them can help them to understand the difference between a need and a want.

For the little ones, their parents and family are their whole world. If they prove to be good human beings, children are going to adopt those precious life values from them. Sometimes acting firmly can make them realize your place as a mentor in their life. Bonds build on trust are often stronger than the ones built on fear. When you show love, children are willing to listen to you not just with ears but with an open heart.